Feminism at it’s core is about equal rights and I agree with this. But, what do we do when encountered by a woman who uses feminism as an excuse to tear down others (men), instead of bringing women up? Feminism is defined as the belief in social, economic, and political equality of the sexes.
It’s crazy how feminism, something that started out as noble has been abused by hypocritical crazy people in the recent past.
Toxic feminism is defined as an embodiment of double standards and misandry, that is void of self reflection.
What do I think is toxic feminism?
Women who believe their only source of power comes from being sexually appealing to men.
Women who have so internalised that to be a woman is to be a mother that they sacrifice all other aspects of their identity and become obsessed with being the perfect mother and in the process shame other women that have not followed the same path, or do not feel the same way about motherhood.
Women who think it’s cute to have a bad attitude or be stuck up.
Women who have so internalised their role as dutiful wife that they erase their own personality and become passive and clinging to their spouse.
The popular pecking order of ‘popular girl’ at workplaces, schools and in the society at large.
Women who shame men for sitting on the bus. If you’re not a pregnant woman, senior citizen or sick…then be polite as to remember gentlemen get tired too.
Women obsessed with looks to the point it gets in the way of life. It’s okay to be high mantainance, but don’t be late to work because you spent three hours on make up. That’s going too far!
Women who expect men to pay for everything, while advocating for better or even higher wages.
Women who hit men and expect to get away with it just because they are women.
Women who can not acknowledge that men also have it worse; suicide, ptsd, rape and domestic violence.
Toxic femininity preaches if women are “good”, if they are quiet, submissive, placatory, undemanding and nurturing, they will not get themselves into trouble with violent men. Toxic femininity turns women into objects and punishes women who refuse to conform in the same way that toxic masculinity punishes men who step outside their assigned roles.
Women who put others down for expressing their desires, opinions, or ambition beyond their roles in the lives of men.
Let us not even mention women who falsely accuse men of sexual assault.
Toxic feminist are so focused on themselves that they’d be willing to treat men unequally for the sake of equality of women’s rights.
Can you find an issue with any of these? Take your time. These issues are of an order so subtle as to escape the notice of some of the smartest women and men in the world.
I think, if the society needs to do anything is to step letting toxic feminism get away with these borderline abusive double standards in life. I get it that there are some people who are violent mysogynists and rapists, but aren’t they already shunned in the society? Without the feminists stepping in to blanket every man as the same? Are we forgetting the infamous line… ‘all men are trash’ that has become some sort of an anthem?
Traditionally, feminine values such as empathy, compassion, nurturance, (whether they are expressed in men or women) are already being valorized, with good reason, as being generally better for society. However, just as we erred by placing male traits on a pedestal, we also need to exercise caution when we extol feminine virtues.
Do not get me wrong, I am a believer in virtuous feminism, girl children rights and equality. And I mean, equality of all, not just females! I believe feminism is the equality between the sexes and not “fuck all men” or “women are better than men” or “men can’t be feminists”. Feminism isn’t man-hating. Feminism is equality of opportunities.
Feminism is equity over equality, any day!
Do you feel like you have to turn a blind eye towards toxic feminism on a regular basis?
Do you ever wonder that if our conciliatory attitude towards it continues, toxic feminism will one day come to overrule what feminism stands for and become the norm in our society?